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My companion seems to have disappeared...
Rarely do I go into a movie already expecting it to be horrible, only to find out that it's hundreds of times worse than could possibly have been imagined. Bloodrayne was such a movie. I can easily say it was within the top 10 worst movies I have ever seen, without even bothering to stop and think about what the other 9 might be.
The only fitting reply to a movie like this would be to have Uwe Boll beaten, stabbed, shot, strangled, crucified, drawn and quartered, and burned to ash (using every copy of every movie he's ever made as the underlying fuel for the fire). Then you would need to take the ashes, use them to make a cement from which you made a statue of Uwe Boll, which would then be smashed to dust with sledge hammers just before the planet it's on (preferably not Earth) is destroyed in a nuclear holocaust, followed by its sun going supernova.
Seriously. This movie made Van Helsing look like an epic masterwork.
The only fitting reply to a movie like this would be to have Uwe Boll beaten, stabbed, shot, strangled, crucified, drawn and quartered, and burned to ash (using every copy of every movie he's ever made as the underlying fuel for the fire). Then you would need to take the ashes, use them to make a cement from which you made a statue of Uwe Boll, which would then be smashed to dust with sledge hammers just before the planet it's on (preferably not Earth) is destroyed in a nuclear holocaust, followed by its sun going supernova.
Seriously. This movie made Van Helsing look like an epic masterwork.
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